The mind can be a scary place, especially when you realize just how deep the imagination can go when left to its own devices. The darkness can become intense when you travel down a road that is completely uncensored. For most people, the concept of a completely unabashed mind can be a near impossible thing to fathom.
That is, until you explore the darker corners of the internet. These are the places that children should probably be shielded from by protective parents. Part of me almost wishes I had been when I began my search down this rabbit hole.
What began as a joke, exploring what the early days of the internet offered to a couple of curious thirteen year olds quickly turned into a journey of realization. A simple realization formed; that the world is far more horrible than a good amount of people realize.
It started with finding clips from a little known VHS recording called Faces of Death. Actually seeing a person die on screen changed many things in my mind. Later in my life I would witness people die in person and those instances still did not have as deep as an impact as the first video death did.
Then I stumbled upon Rotten.com, which led to other homes of gore and human tragedy. Ogrish.com and a plethora of other venues filled my teenage curiosity. I became desensitized more so than I had expected. The numerous images of death and decay numbed me. This would come in handy later on in life when I found my own mothers body.
For a few years before her death, my interest in the macabre had waned. Shortly after her passing, I found myself rekindled to the notion of exploring the world of darkness once again. I had found that over the course of just a few years, things had gotten much more mainstream than I had anticipated. I was astounded at first at how easy it was to find almost any form of torturous video online.
Up until this moment, I had thought that the vast majority of perversions that I would see online would be accidents or acts of violence towards others. Thought here was plenty of that to be found, I quickly realized that more and more people were finding their “15 minutes” of fame in acts of self torture and disfigurement.
Some people might recognize the name Mr. Hands, or the video known as 1 man, 1 cup. These were examples of people doing horribly painful things to themselves for flash of pleasure and pain and that fleeting moment of spotlight. It was like an audible cry of “I matter…I exist…watch as I do these things for you!”
You can only watch so many people literally lose their head before you start to realize that things have gotten strange. Or perhaps it is nothing more than the cover being pulled off of reality. I wonder if what we see online is nothing more than absolute, unadulterated truth. It is us when we think everyone is watching and we don’t care. It is the true nature of humanity when all the tapestries have been stripped away and we have all been left open to the elements.
The ultimate questions to ask is, when you view one of these videos, are you watching yourself from a different perspective, or are you watching humanity show you its true nature?